This was fun for a while.

But there are still a lot of people who are resistant to such asinine behavior.  Or perhaps they just can’t afford or don’t wish to spend the money on a bluetooth headset.  On the street, or in a restaurant, this is no big deal, their belt-mounted communication device will play obnoxious songs, or vibrate, or twitter or chirp, to indicate that a call is coming in, and they can swiftly (they practice the draw-and-phone drills in front of their bathroom mirror at home to look cool) answer the call and begin their oh-so-important call, about groceries, or their friends’ kids’ new zit, or whatever.

These people will soon be converted.  Because of the automobile.  Many jurisdictions are clamping down on using handsets while driving.  These people will now be forced to do something.  Now it used to be, that when I was driving and expecting a call, I would plug in my wired earbud.  Since obtaining a Prius, however, I have experienced the pinnacle of modern mobile communication.  Modern Toyota, Lexus and some other vehicles have bluetooth connection integrated into their navigation and entertainment subsystems, and the integration is done so well that once it’s set up you only have to do it once.  Now, when I enter the car and push the power button, the navigation system launches, and a line appears at the top of the screen: “Bluetooth Connection Successful.”  This indicates that my navigation/entertainment system has successfully negotiated with my belt-mounted mobile phone.  I start the car, and start listening to whatever audiobook, language lesson or XM channel I’m in the mood for that day.  When a call comes in, the audio is interrupted, a ringing sound comes through the 9-speaker audio system of the vehicle, and I answer it, with a button on the steering wheel.  The nav screen even tells me the number of the person who’s calling (sometimes).  My voice is piped through a microphone on the system, and the caller’s voice is piped through the 9-speaker audio.  To outsiders, it looks as if I’m talking to myself.  No flashing blue nerdset is visible on my head, so I must just be talking to myself.

The advantage to this is, once more people become aware of this reality, they will start to assume I’m on a call.  They will make fun of me for being a nerd, instead of for babbling insanely to nobody, or making fun of my bad Spanish as I practice along with an audiobook.  And by participating in this insanity, I am providing the world just that much more entertainment.  I still think it makes much more sense than the bluetooth headsets.

our time here is short
we all want to feel alive
while there is still light

then we stop breathing
all at once or bit by bit
one becomes zero

Here are the fixes:

1) replace all your external locks.  Abloy, Bilock, Medeco, Schlage Primus, Kwikset Smartkey are examples.  Look for “bump-proof.”

2) of course that’s not enough.  bad guys can still break and open windows.  consider “security film,” a clear adhesive that goes directly on window panes which prevents this.

if bumping was new, i wouldn’t be mentioning it here for my friends.  it’s not new, it’s a few years old, and it’s ALL OVER youtube and other venues.

Note to bump kiddies: bump keys ARE considered “burglary tools” in most states.  It’s one thing to own them, but don’t get caught using them on someone else’s locks, or you will go to jail.

What if he was in the system for another reason, for example, someone hopping wireless networks used his to send a threatening message to a celebrity, and the FBI traced it back to his house. The forensic guys would still search the computer, and as long as he’s a suspect, that information is fair game. What if it happened to you? What do you think they’d find on YOUR home PC? I could tell you one thing they’d find on mine. Last week I remembered that someone at the office mentioned “tofu flavored to taste like human flesh.” You know, one of those geekish attempts at one-upping each other in level of grossness. So since I was near a PC at the time I remembered it, I searched it on Google. Will the forensics examiners make an assumption that I’m a cannibal now, just because I was reading about HuFu?

But not you. No, not you. I KNOW that everyone that reads this site (all three of you) are reasonable people who would never act like these examples.